Thursday, March 29, 2012

Wake Up

Been contemplateing lately, mind wondering over so many thing. My friend keeps telling me if I don't quit thinking I'm going to have a mental crash. I think he may be right but for some reason I can't seem to stop. I'm so tired, and I've been sick for the last 2 days and I don't even want to think about working for this school anymore. I need to do something before I leave or maybe just leave now. I know, though they may dispute it, that I have every right to cancel my contract, they would owe me 12000 yuan and a plane ticket home, after the four new teachers come. I'd love to get out of this place. A friend sent me this link last night, it's so true and I feel the message of it pulling at my heart, esspecially seeing the skyline of a Chinese city. I know some people in this town I'd love to partner with.

But most days I feel this is all a big dream, I can never trust myself. Because in dreams there is no such thing as love,  there is no such thing as purpose or reason and even God is questionable. In dreams my life doesn't matter and I care about nothing because nothing matters except to wake up from the dream. 


  1. This pulled at my heart. I'm glad to know a measure of peace has come. and it is as if you've woken up or come out from under that oppressive cloud.

  2. Me to it was a deep dark empty place!